once I asked my English teacher if teachers shipped their students and after explaining what shipping meant she told me that that is literally one of the most popular discussions in the staff room
(Source: amazingphul, via chickensoupwithcrackers)
A haiku about Mario Kart
Are you kidding me
Who the fuck threw that red shell
I will fuck you up
(via chasing----pavements)
So yesterday I was at work and where I work the customer slides their card if it’s debit but if it’s credit then we slide it. And some guy had a credit card but it wasn’t signed so we have to ask for their ID and match the last names so I turned it around to see the name when he gave me his license and his last name was HORAN omg I forgot my social skills and how to behave in public and I was like “EEEP THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND’S LAST NAME” and the guy like used a fake irish accent and he was like “oi he must be a sexy irishman eh?” and I was like “YA HE IS HE’S FROM IRELAND” and the guy was like “oh why is he here?” cause like obvs it’s weird that he’s in the U.S. and I was like “uhhhm college” and then he was like “oh what does he study?” (he was very obsessed with & invested in me and my fake relationship) and I was like think think think BRAIN BLAST and the genius idea that I came up with to save my ass was “astronomy”… round of applause for me.
